To be free again – Alicia Morasse

… It’s hard to be noticed as someone when I have so many different traits and  positive characteristics as a person… I hide who I really am though. I feel like I’m a person without a direction to focus on and aim for, I’ve taken a lot of different roads in life, I don’t really know 100% what I’d like to do in life. Although I used to know when I was younger what it felt like to have desire and passion, to thrive and set goals, want something. It’s somewhat confusing from the outside of where I stand, but to me I’m just going with the flow of things and not pretending that I have to be going in the same direction most people aim for, I’m just following a direction. I’m trying to love myself enough to find what I love in life. I’ve tried some of the roads that seem right to so many and I immediately saw through to the other side. I appreciate that I can choose to be different but it’s hard to stay different with little confidence which is where I fall short. I feel like some people make me out to look crazy or seem to act like I can’t ruin they’re perfect idea of what life should be, or I’m suddenly wrong because I’m being true to myself. My appearance goes from I am confident I can totally be myself in that outfit or that make up trend; to really, I’m not allowed to be myself. People did everything they could to hurt me and make me feel small to be who I’m not and go back to dressing or acting a certain way; And for what to make people feel comfortable. It’s a struggle to be myself. I’m not hurting anyone by being different it’s my truth, but people feel the need to hurt me. Why is that right or okay to people? I have a fear of being myself because I’ve been physically and emotionally ruined by people for being who I need to be for me. So when is this lie going to fall away because I want to be known for breaking free…

-Alicia Morasse

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