08 10 16

Hi. I know I’ve been gone for a very long time. A lot has happened in these past 8 months. The biggest thing that happened is that I tried to kill myself. I’ve apologized to the people who love me for doing it but to think of it. Should I be sorry? Shouldn’t they understand? I’m not happy. I’m not who I want to be. I keep on rapidly gaining weight and its killing me because no matter how hard I try I keep on getting bigger. Not only that but whenever I look at pictures of me back then I realize how I used to be so much prettier than I am now. I feel like I used to be more fun. Life just isn’t something I enjoy anymore. Actually, I can’t remember when I last enjoyed it. I just want to be happy. Why can’t I be a normal teenager who always parties, is someone all of the boys want, and is just happy with themselves and their lives. But instead I spent my whole summer at home binge watching TV shows talking to random strangers online on Habbo and sleeping all day. Funny how in my first post I talk about how Jake and I are friends with benefits but with no love. Jeez, I was just lying to myself. I’m so fucking in love with him. I think about him all of the time and always wonder how his day is and just if he thinks about me too and what he did that day. I’m stupidly in love. I shouldn’t even think of him in that way because I know it will never ever happen. Stupidly in love. Yup thats me. Most of my passwords were the first day we kissed and it’s my phone password and when he asked me what my phone password I told him and he didn’t even realize why it was. I’m an idiot. Goodnight for now. Hopefully I update this soon.

~ Toodles, Skye.♡

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