lacy really doesnt know

i”m in love with a man and he really is one of  the three reason i get up out of bed. now here lately i just don’t know he is happier and he is being friendly again but he just does not act like he wants me … and he gets mad at me for no reason he can and does say whatever he wants to me and if hes joking i”m supposed to take the joke and if he is just being rude or mean i just supposed to get over it now i feel really sad because if i joke with him he takes it seriously and makes me cry or whatever i am really just confused i don’t know why but i really don’t feel like love i hope he still loves me i do …. and i hope that he starts treating me like a girlfriend again really soon … i want him to treat me equally as in like i clean lately i am the only one who does it if he asks me to do something i do it or else i hear it but i ask him to do one thing and he wont ever do it he waits til i get irritated and do it myself i just want equality with him i want him to want the same thing that i want out of this relationship i want to go somewhere be married have a family a real family where we all have the same last name and where the mom and dad respect each other…. im so fucking sad and confused that about sums it up sad and confused… fuck it i guess ill stop going on and on when i dont even know what i am trying to say FUCK FUCK FUCK

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