Go away

Today I am feeling extremely down. I cried over an hour or so and I felt like dying because I felt agitated and sad all at once. When I felt my chest feeling weird I tried my best to stop myself before I started breaking down, but I couldn’t. Everything feels too real. All the energy my body was feeling all at once but wasn’t able to release it made me felt like hell. I felt like screaming but I couldn’t because I don’t want my neighbors to hear me. I felt like jumping of a plane but has no access. When is all this going to go away? I just wish it would go away.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my therapist and I honestly don’t even know what to tell her? Are therapist even helpful? I mean… I have my doubts because all they do is listen… Just listen and ask questions like “so what are some of the things you think you could do to help you?” like I don’t know? Maybe if I do I wouldn’t be here. God I am frustrated and sad. Why can’t I be born normal. I just want to be like everyone else. 

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