I believe it’s been 5 days since I have posted a journal entry and Master is not pleased. I have no excuse or good reason to explain why I haven’t posted besides I just didn’t feel like writing anything. I have been busy but I also had time to write and just chose not to.
I know I will be punished for not obeying Master, I am not looking forward to it at all. I don’t like the punishments because they hurt but mainly because I don’t like upsetting Master. I also didn’t perform a task he set out for me last week, which I still have to do by friday of this week. I know if I don’t do it this week I will be severely punished, which I definitely don’t want. I’m not looking forward to this task, its not something I want to do, but I also know it will be better for me to do the task than risk the punishment.
Master is making me do some things today/tonight which I think is partly punishment but I’m not entirely sure. I had to rope and clamp earlier, remove the clamps, replace rope with plug, sleep with plug in, when I wake up I’m to rope and clamp again. I like these things at first but over time they start to hurt and become uncomfortable ugh. So it does feel like a slight punishment to me.
I also think it is a reminder for me of messing up, that I am owned and I am to obey 24/7. Having rope, plug, and clamps gives me the reminder of Master, that he controls what I do at all times, that he is and should be with me at all times. I am to endure whatever pleases him, even if I don’t like it.
I will complete my task this week and I will take whatever punishment Master gives me. I hope it isn’t too harsh, but I also understand there are consequences for not obeying.