I get a shit ton of criticism for being involved in a LDR from a various amount of people. I need to vent write, and I think venting to my boyfriend (as he encourages me to do) would be kind of useless, because his family and what not are pretty supportive.
I would like to disclaim to myself and to anyone who decided to click on this shit that my parents (nobody in my family) knows about this relationship quite yet.
I’m going to number what people say and I’m going to write my vented response to it.
- It’s considerably dangerous to have relations with someone you met online. Yeah, this is true. There is always a risk factor involved when meeting anyone you met online in person for the first time. And there is even more at risk when you’re romantically involved with them. However, to me in this day and age, it is very well worth the risk and semi-safe. While it is getting easier to hide who you are, it is also getting easier to see who someone really is. It’s all about trust at this point, and I trust it.
- Long distance relationships, just don’t work. False. Every relationship is different. While some people can’t handle being away from their significant others for longer than a week, others can. It is much harder, I admit, to not be able to have the physical aspect of a relationship at your beck and call. But, if the relationship is worth it, when it finally becomes close distance then everything will come together as any relationship would have ever dreamed. And at least at this point, you aren’t just settling for someone in your area either. Chances are, if you met someone online and decided to pursue a relationship with them long distance, you must be alike in many aspects, and the chances of you finding each other are pretty slim (and dare i say, even fate.)
- Why not date someone in your area? Asking someone in the relationship why they’re dating someone who is across the country, or even across the world, is like asking why someone would prefer one fast food place over another. It’s all about preference. If you like something better than something else, it’s worth the effort to get the thing you truly want. To me, I don’t see myself finding my soulmate in my area. If things go well with my LDR SO, it’ll give me chances for new opportunities that I wouldn’t get if I chose to settle down with someone in my area.
- How can you trust that they’re loyal to the relationship? The thing is, you aren’t getting much from an LDR. You don’t get physical contact that you normally would, therefore people who it’s too hard for just generally won’t do it if there is someone else they’d prefer to be with closer to them. You have to trust that the SO won’t be cheating, and you have to communicate any problems.
There is a multitude of concerns and questions I get every day I’m in this relationship. And even though we aren’t TOGETHER, it’s still the best relationship I’ve ever had. I’ve never felt more emotionally connected with someone before.
At least this way I can say I fell for his personality, and not his physical features.