Journal Entry #23 (Well…I tried)

 Ayyy, it’s your fellow nutcase! “Insane-in-the-membrane” Missy! Okay so, today (well, tonight) I randomly decided to tell you all about Mindy! Yayyyyyy!

Jk she suggested I did and I accepted. I mean, I have been meaning to do this for a while. I’ve just been so caught up with my mood swings that I haven’t had a chance. Mindy said that I should write about something positive for a change so I am writing about her.

Jeez, where to start. Umm…firstly, she is amazing. Like, life-changingly (lmao is that even a word?) awesome. I’m so glad I had the courage to message her.

Um….damn, this is very hard (pause tho). I don’t know what else to say! I’m so sorry Mindy ;-;

Okay so one more thing before I end this, and please don’t hate me for this: It is hard not to have a crush on her. Ooooh sheeeettttt! I said it! All the cards are on the table now! XD I feel so stupid right nowwwww Like seriously? Wtf missy. Have you not learned anything? I can’t help it though. I have crushes on/fall in love with people too easily. It’s one of my biggest flaws out of many. I obviously need to chill the hell out. But I didn’t admit anything did I? Ooooh snaps! Counter attack!

Oh wait…

I did

Didn’t I?

Dang it…

Jeez I just had a thought. I am…a messed up person…how could I even say that…about her…we’re just friends…

My mood is ruined. Tell me…do you know…how it feels…to be invisible? Like when you’re gone, nobody talks about you or asks for you and when you’re there, it’s like you’re not because you’re ignored. I hate that. I really do. Everyone knows this. But do they really? I crave attention. I need it. Not from everyone at once, mind you. One person who cares is enough. And you can’t talk to me and then stop to talk to someone else. I require all of your attention. This is one of the reasons why I hate myself. Why am I like this? Why can’t I just be happy?

I can’t be happy. This was supposed to be a happy entry but I can’t even do that for Mindy. I’m too broken for happiness. Anger and sadness suit me the best. I’m so sorry everyone. I promise I’ll try to do better next time, Mindy.

There’s no rest for moody people like me, so I’ve gotta go.

(Also, I just re-read this entry and omg I swear I’m not on drugs or anything when I type these. I’m just naturally this crazy and moody)

2 thoughts on “Journal Entry #23 (Well…I tried)”

  1. It sounds like your friend Mindy is a very nice person. I doubt she would mind if she knew you had a crush on her. You mentioned in an earlier journal that she’s an online friend, so it would probably be fine to crush on her, she just might not reciprocate your feelings as there’s a possibility that the two of you will never meet. It sounds like Mindy cares about you and doesn’t think you’re invisible. You shouldn’t be afraid of being ignored, by her at least. You don’t need to be ashamed of your feelings. 🙂

Leave a Comment: