I know, I know, it seems as if all I do is bitch…lol…but she really is…an asshole. I know, I’ve got my quirks and I’m probably an asshole at times…but here’s the story.
About a year ago, I hit bottom. My car stopped running, I lost my job and that led to me getting evicted from my rental home. My ex husband came back into town after being MIA for nearly 2 years and served me with papers to get full custody of my son. My plan was to pack up all our belongings in a U-Haul and move back to my hometown where we could stay with family until I got back on my feet. Of course, after being served with court papers, there was no way I could leave. I was faced with being totally homeless. We had no money, no car and no place to stay. It was bad…real bad.
At that time, my friend of 15 years stepped up and said “hey, come live with me until you get back on your feet.” She was a single mom and knew my struggle. I had provided her a place to stay a few years back. I honestly appreciate EVERYTHING she’s done for me. She’s taken my son and I in and treated us like family. I will never be able to show her how thankful I am that she took us in and helped us when we needed it the most.
Having said that…living with her has been torture. She drinks daily and when she drinks she is venemous. She says mean, hurtful and spiteful things to anyone she finds as a target of her hatefulness. The first house we lived in was relatively small. I collected unemployment so every dime I got, went to her to help pay bills. I got food stamps for which I used to buy groceries for our entire household. I contributed as much as I possibly could. I didn’t have my own room, so, I slept either on the couch or in her room with her. She’s a neat freak, so, between looking for jobs, court stuff and making sure my son was doing well in school, I cleaned the house every day. When she’d drink she’d throw it in my face how this was “her house” and I wouldn’t have a place to sleep if it weren’t for her. I tolerated it, she had given us a place, after all, to stay and it was her house. Fast forward a few months, her lease was up on the house we were living in, she tried to get a rental home for her and her daughter but it fell through. During that time, I was still unemployed, and she had told me that I needed to find a place for my son and I. Needless to say, I was panicked. When her plan for the other rental fell through she decided that it was ok for my son and I to continue to live with her and we’d just look for a bigger place. Well, we found it and as luck would have it, I found a really good paying job. We moved. I faithfully pay my part of the bills without question. Sometimes she asks me for additional money and I hand it over. Because, there again, she took us in when we needed it. But, how long do I have to “pay back”? I don’t get to see the bills, whenever one comes in the mail, I have tried opening it and she will snatch it from me so I don’t see it or she gets them before I do.
The household is me and my son. Her, her daughter and baby and her son. Until May, she moved in (without telling me anything) her other son and his friend, they live in a shed in our back yard. About a month ago the son who lives in the shed and her got into a HUGE fight and she told us all we have 60 days to move. Her son said what everyone was thinking and that was “you can’t afford this place and the bills without AnonEMouse. Her response was to post on Facebook that “I can do this all by myself”. I don’t know why but she has since changed her mind and said that we would all just move in Jan when the lease is up. As I said, she’s a neat freak and with so many people in the house (most of whom do not clean up after themselves) it is hard to keep the house like she wants it, so one day, she came home and posted signs all over the place with instructions on how to clean this and pick up that and do’s and don’ts. (she got drunk one night and tore them all down because no one was paying attention to them anyway)
I hate going home at night because I don’t know what the fight will be about when I get there. Most of the time I just stay in my room (I have one in this house) I make sure my son and I pick up after ourselves and clean up what dishes we use and of course I do extra cleaning too. Doesn’t matter, the house can be immaculate and she will find something.
Did I mention that her and I are the only ones working and paying for shit? yeah there’s that. I got a car but it didn’t last long. I had to get what I could afford and it went belly up a few weeks ago. So, she’s had to bring me in to work. She works, not to far from me, so she has to come this way anyway, but she still complains. I pay her for gas, still complains. I’m up and ready to go out the door on time every morning, still complains. She complains it is inconvenient. She works four 10 hr days and has to be at work by 6:30 am, does not get off work until 5 pm. I am supposed to work five 8 hour days, don’t need to be at work until 7:30 and can get off work at 4. Do I complain? no, I’m grateful to have a ride to work and just suck it up and come to work early and leave late because I’m lucky to have a ride and not have to quit my job. She smokes cigarettes on the way to work, I don’t smoke. Do I complain because I go to work smelling like smoke every day? No, because, once again, I’m just thankful to be able to get to work.
She tries to parent my son, but if I say anything to her kids, I get chewed out, so I just stopped saying anything. If something in the house goes wrong she blames me, my son or my dog. Whoever is convenient. She doesn’t allow me to cook because she doesn’t like my cooking, then complains that she has to do EVERYTHING and I do NOTHING. I do plenty, but it is never good enough. But I have to be grateful because at least we have a roof over our head and food to eat right?
She’s jealous of me and my relationship with her kids. They call me their second mom, she hates that. You’d think she’d be happy that someone cares about them enough to make them feel like they can call momma #2. Her daughter begs her every day not to drink, she does it anyway. Mostly she “hides” it but everyone knows when she is drunk. It takes maybe 2 shots and a beer and she’s drunk but she keeps drinking anyway. A bottle a night 750 ml, Jagermeister and redbull. Her daughter had a part time job because she wanted to be able to buy things for her baby. She was supposed to watch the baby while little momma worked. The daughter ended up quitting the job because she would come home to a drunk mom and worried about the baby.
I’m affraid to have any friends over, don’t know what is going to happen when she drinks and I don’t want her to embarass me in front of them. I’ve seen her do it to other people in the house. I’m worried about this vacation we are planning…I am affraid she will drink and embarass everyone.
There are some good things too though, its not all bad. I guess when you are in a situation, you only see the bad things going on around you. I’m normally not a fan of Christmas, but this past year her and her family made it really nice. We laugh at stupid shit, we cried together when her daughter’s baby was born. We encourage my son with school. Rare occasions when she’s not being mean when she drinks, we listen to music and dance around the house. We are planning a mini vacay next month. Its not all bad, just the good days are few and far between.
So, I’m holding on until Jan. Hopeing that I don’t just blow up before that time. I guess I’m one of those people who someone can hurt multiple times but I still think there’s good in them. I guess that makes me stupid.
I’m looking for a car, but once again, I’m providing money to the household so it has been hard to save up. I’d rather buy one outright than have a payment.