I still think about you.. every day. I’m with someone else now, but I find myself late at night wondering how you are. I’ve replayed our conversations a million times, and wonder what I could have done to make you stay. I’m not supposed to feel this way about you, not after a year. A year full of memories, none of which you are in. I’ve moved on. He treats me better than you ever did, given more love than you ever could have. I feel safe with him. Comfortable. I used to feel that way with you. Somehow this last year has put more distance between us than I ever thought could happen. I’ve done everything right, everything to help one move on, but I just can’t. Is it the rejection I felt when you left? Is it the fact that you never thought I was a loss? The thought of losing you scared me more than anything, and that’s just what happened. So this is me, together with someone better, but feeling lonelier then ever. I really did love you, but I wish I could just forget everything. Three happy months aren’t worth 12 unhappy ones. You aren’t worth it, you don’t deserve me, and here I am, laying in bed thinking about you. I just wish you knew….
My 2 a.m. thougts