Late Night Thoughts..

Isn’t it insane how one person can have such a toll on us? How we sit around waiting hopelessly for this one person to even notice us, even if its just a double tap on a Instagram post. It’s as if we get a high off of the fact this one human being knows that we exist and they find the slightest bit of interest in us. Even if you swore to yourself that you would not get attached to anyone and you find yourself dazing off  thinking about someone who doesn’t deserve your attention and time.

Three weeks. That’s all it took for you to come out of the stranger zone and into my mind. I check my phone a thousand times a day because I wonder if you’ve viewed my latest snap-chat post or if you had thought about me in just the slightest to start a conversation. How all the conversations you two had nights before continue to play in your head, wondering if you might had said something stupid for them to not want to hold a conversation.

We spent many nights up until the morning talking about our dreams and our music tastes and how we just wanted to run away and see the world. I shared a lot of personal things with you and you took them in like a empty sponge and some how it gave me life. You brought life back into a dead soul. Somehow you took a dead rose and turned it into something beautiful again and it fucking sucks because its like every time you speak you fill my lungs. I listen to this beautiful melody and I can’t get it out of my head, no matter how hard I try but sadly every song has its ending and I think this is ours.

The last message I sent was trying to thank you and it says “Hey, so I don’t know if you’re asleep or if you’re busy and stuff but I just wanted to say thank you. You’re a great person to get to know. Sure we’ve only known each other for a short amount of time but you’ve helped me a lot and for that I owe you everything honestly. I enjoy talking to you even if its just talking about music or just sending silly pictures. You deserve the world. You really do. I’m really glad I met someone like you. Goes to show some good people are left in this world. Thank you for all that you have helped me with so far. I hope we can continue to be friends and stuff(:” You read it and never responded but continued about your day as I sat around nervously waiting for you to respond telling me that it was all okay. 

The thing that hurts the most is I showed you every part of me and I only saw one side of you, I should have known than it would have been just better to run but I didn’t. I let you whisper sweet nothings into my ear at 3 AM when we both couldn’t sleep but silly me you were just lonely. I was so vulnerable and you could see right through me. Now I am stuck deleting all the Knuckle Puck songs off of my playlist and listening to Real Friends while trying to push back the tears because I know you don’t deserve any of it. You said you understand and now it just feels like it was all lies to just continue to have someone to talk to until better came along and now you’re doing just fine while I’m trying to go upstream without a paddle. 

I guess silence is a lot better than bullshit and I wish these past three weeks you were nothing but mute. I wish I could take back everything I ever said to you because I trusted you and I thought you understood when you didn’t. You said what I wanted to hear just to get what you wanted back in return and now you’re just fine while I stay awake writing this and wondering what I did wrong, when the only wrong I did was letting you in.

This is now the end of our song, it was beautiful while it lasted but it is now out dated.


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