Mommy Issues

 My mom honestly hates my guts. I don’t even remember the last time we said ” I love you” or even hugged. I want to joke about this, but as I’m typing all of this I feel my eyes getting watery and my throat feels like it’s choking up. idfc. I’ve tried doing everything to make her happy. I’ve been trying to be the daughter that she wants me to be. But I can’t. Here come the tears…I should be used to this, her, by now but her words leave such a huge imprint on my mind and on my heart. I’m snobby because the one time I didn’t say thank you I’m suddenly the biggest asshole. Supposedly.  I’m lazy. I eat too many carbs. I’m not the daughter she wanted. I don’t know how to be healthy and fit like her. I’m not good enough. I don’t have friends. I’m not in any clubs this year. Not in any sports. She wants me to try Golf, but we all know that’s not for me. I never really liked sports. I’m not competitive like her. On the other hand, I liked being on a team. I made a lot of friends like that. She never thought so. She says I need to be more persistent on making friends. I need to be nicer so people will want to be my friend. Why is being alone such a bad thing? Why do I need so many friends? So I can be popular like she was in high school. Does she want me to be her? I don’t understand. She has a loser for a daughter. At least Alec is doing something extraordinary. That means I still have a chance! If not she would’ve disowned me by now for sure. I just want to be alone. Alone.

2 thoughts on “Mommy Issues”

  1. You’re in a sad situation. Everyone needs their mother’s love and unconditional support. I’m sorry you don’t have these. It’s all right to be alone if you are not depressed. If you are depressed, and you have reason to be as you know, then being alone can be bad for you. Sorry this is not very helpful. I’m awfully tired tonight. I wish you every happiness. Don’t worry so much about pleasing your mom. She will love you more when you are grown and have a life of your own. She won’t feel so responsible then. Blessings to you.

  2. Hi doll, so I just wanted to write and say I know what you’re going through and even though me and my mom don’t speak at all I wish the best for the two of you and hopefully things get better for you. I know you’ve probably heard this one and a million times but keep your head up. Being alone isn’t bad at all, sometimes it’s better off than surrounding yourself with a bunch of people to just try and fill a empty hole in your life. I am always here for you!

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