August 22nd

This weekend has actually been pretty nice.  Aside from the one mental breakdown I had on Saturday, I’ve been feeling good.  The weather has been beyond amazing- mid 80’s, lower humidity (85% might sound awful, but it’s great for these parts), good amount of sun.  

Friday night, we stayed up late and watched television.  I think I was sick?  I don’t remember a whole lot from that night.  Saturday, we slept in until 10:30.  We pretty much stayed home and watched television.  Which upset me, because I could feel the walls caving in again.  

Sunday, we slept in again, but got up slightly earlier.  9:30.  We took things pretty easy for a bit, just enjoying the weather with the windows down.  At about one, we left to do some grocery shopping.  I made us lunch (honey mustard pork chops) and then we relaxed for a bit more.  After a while, we decided to go for a swim.  We started out in the hot tub at my fiance’s grandma’s.  She’s away on vacation.  I must be getting old, because I find hot tubs absolutely terrible.  The jets felt like they were kicking my ass, and my ass was losing.  After, we jumped into the pool.  For the record, any temperature difference after getting out of a hot tub feels ridiculous.  The hot tub was about 100 degrees, and the pool was a cozy 87.  But still, it was a total shock jumping straight into the pool.  It was like jumping into ice water.  My fiance chickened out after only getting knee deep.  Naturally, I laughed.  And then I was dared to test my courage.  It took me a good while to slowly sink my body into the water, inch by inch, my voice getting higher and higher as I sank.  We swam around until we started to get tired.  I was also getting swarmed by mosquitos. We realized that the hot tub is really where we wanted to be anyway.  We relaxed some more for a while, kissed, held hands, cuddled, stuff I wouldn’t normally do if I wasn’t absolutely positive we were in complete privacy.  I’ve always had intimacy issues.  I’m a very affectionate person and a very cuddly one to boot.  But the thought of expressing that in any kind of public way makes my skin crawl.  It just seems… inappropriate?  I was thankful to have that time alone.  Sunset fell, and we decided to head out.  Dried and dressed, we drove around with the windows down for a while.  We stopped for a quick drink at a Sonic in town, and thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get a couple snacks while there.  They confused our order, and gave me a large cherry lemonade.  I ordered a medium cherry limeade.  As perfectly mundane as that sounds, I don’t want to forget it.  I want to remember everything about last night.  It was such a nice night.  We drove home, watched Misery (romantic, I know… not my choice of films for a date night) and then went to bed.

Midnight is about where things started to go south for me.  Someone was shining a light right into our window as we were getting settled for bed.  As our heads hit the pillow, the light shined in the bottom left corner, where my cats have snapped a few rows of blinds.  You can’t see in because of the curtain, but they were determined to try.  And then we started to hear strange sounds.  Naturally, I had to get up to check, but found nothing.  I couldn’t sleep.  Every thirty minutes, I would wake up.  I don’t know why.  I wasn’t having bad dreams, I was as comfortable as I could have been, nobody and nothing was waking me up.  I just couldn’t seem to stay asleep for more than just a few minutes at a time.  We got up around 9 in the morning.  I was immediately sick.  I couldn’t stop throwing up.  All I wanted to do was space out on the couch with the windows open (it was another gorgeous day, after all) and pretend like I wasn’t even awake.  But of course, something had to happen to disturb that.  Despite it being so early, people were out in record numbers, all seemingly determined to piss me off.  Between ridiculous traffic speeding by our home, noisy ass pedestrians screaming, and yelling as they walked by, and some weirdo standing right underneath our window…  That’s where I drew the line.  It’s one thing to walk on the sidewalk, but this guy walked up to our property (some 25 feet from the road or any other neighbor) and was hiding beneath our open window, which we were both resting by.  We confronted him and he said he was with the city, surveying the area.  Even if he was with the city, the way he was behaving was beyond weird.

I made lunch for us (cheesy, loaded baked chicken with crispy, butter breadcrumb topping) and then we headed outside to do a little yard work.  After which, we relaxed a while longer, and then my fiance left for work.  I’ve been here for a few hours by myself, working on editing a few photographs we took over the week.  I’m feeling lethargic, and like I just want to sleep.

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