Work Harder

Work harder, girl.

Try again, girl.

Put in more effort, girl.

I have faith you can do better, girl.

Jiayou, girl.

Yes. Okay. I get it. I’m not achieving up-to-standard or expected results. Yes obviously I know I need to do better, so just stop shoving it in my face; at least tell me how?

I feel so lost. I don’t even know what to do anymore. No matter how much time I put in, I still do so much worse than anyone anyway. They say the harder you work, the luckier you are. Psh. Okay~ if you say so~ I guess I still don’t work hard enough.

My problem probably does not lie with merely putting in more hours. I need to be more efficient. I need to “work smarter”. But how?

It feels so silly to be so affected by school really, when there’s so much more to life outside school. I just don’t feel that life I guess. I’m too busy. Busy being a student who doesn’t work hard enough. Or smart enough. I wish I could just figure out what type of study methods I can use. Basically bio is all about memorising everything, word for word. I’m so tired just thinking of it.

Maybe that’s my problem, that I’m perpetually tired. I don’t get enough rest. Not enough sleep. And it makes me so irritable. Even just typing now I’m annoyed at my typing speed because I’m using a laptop and not a phone. Then that just makes me more annoyed that I dropped my phone a few days (read: decades) ago and it’s broken. At first I thought I could survive without it till the exams were over, but nope, here I am, suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

Okay so that’s how my thoughts flit aimlessly around. My brain probably isn’t even functioning anymore. That’s my problem. I’m so full of problems.

It’s 2am, sleep, girl.

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