i feel so guilty for natalie’s death, i wish i could of helped her get through this. my best friend’s death has put me through so much. ive been drinking every night trying to get thru this and its not helping. i need some advice to help me. i know time is the best way to get thru this but i feel like it wont help me at all. does anyone have any ideas to help me? please? just anything will help. anything at all.


  1. I have found in life the two hardest emotions to overcome are guilt and regret.

    I experienced guilt on a really extreme level at a pretty young age when I found out my brother was abused. It took me many years to overcome it without support. There is many things I would say to that younger self.

    Forgive yourself! You are not responsible on any level for the actions of another adult. Of course the process of grieving for people you have lost or tragic circumstances is difficult. But why make it harder for yourself by placing responsibility in your own lap?

    Ask yourself logical questions.. Did you actually physically do or say anything that resulted in what happened? Even if you feel you did, was what happened your intention? Of course not.

    It might be a cliché but time is a healer. Understand the logic that you will heal faster from your loss if you logically understand your emotions which from your post is nothing more than grieving for your friend. Because grief is such a complex emotion, guilt sometimes is part of it. But in fact, you are not to blame for anything that happened. You did not make it happen. Most people find it hard to control their own mind and emotions, so how could you have controled the mind and emotions of another?

    It may also help to keep a physical journal of your thoughts. Write whatever comes to your head no matter how irrational, insensitive etc keep it to yourself and don’t read back over it. The purpose is for you to find a release to the negative emotion, as they say its better out than in.

    In time when you feel better which you will, its up to you if you want to read back on it and realise how far you have come or destroy it and maybe start a positive one?

    Focus on the good in your life, what are you grateful for? Force the positive energy into your mind. Read up on mindfulness and meditation for anxiety. These are all techniques that I know would have worked for me when I was young but was so lost in guilt etc unguided that I never even thought of them.

    Good luck darling x

  2. Why do you feel guilty? How are you responsible for her death? I would like to know this, so I could give you a better advice.

    However, it’s ok to feel like shit right now, give yourself the time to grief. But then think why you want for her to be alive? So she could enjoy life, right? So if you wanted that for her, you should want that for yourself. And if she loved you as much as you love her, i’m sure she wouldn’t want for you to feel like crap for the rest of your life, it’s so cliche, but also true.

    About the time thing. Time doesn’t make anything better. What YOU DO in that time is what could make things better.

    PD: English isn’t my first language, I did my best, hope you understand (:

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