Introduction and introspection

    My life (if it were tangible) in a nut shell…..would completely  pulverize that shell, not to mention throw the earth off of its axis sensing the lot of us careening into the sun. The point is that there is no cut and dry, shorthand version. Lets just go ahead  and call it “pretty fucking heavy ”  to say the  least.

    Im an artist at heart, an optimist at heart, a spiritualist in nature, a romantic at heart, and if nothing else in this world, I am man who believes in second chances, in paticular taking full advantage  of one if given the grace of receiving  a few myself!

    Since  I cam remember in my childhood I was always  going  to the doctor’s office,not that I  understood why. As a result (and always on our journey to and from) my mother would be angry and/or nervous. Inherently as a child I felt normal and thought my experience was such  of any child, until at around three  or so it was determined  that I was born with Cystic Fibrosis. At the timw it obviously has little to no meaning and absolutely consequences. Later  in life that would prove to be a huge misinterpretation.

    For most  of my life  I was told by all doctors and quite frankly anyone who uncovered that knowledge, would explain (to a child mind you!) thrw gravity  of CF,what ot effected in thw body,and the  thing that stuck in frail adolescent mind was the fact of the mortality rate, which at the point I was diagnosed was said that  someone with CF would/could live to aeound 27 years of age given optimal conditions and treatment. This  “fact” was constantly drilled into me. the ripples of this would echo through my life in various ways and incarnations, effecting me in ways  I’ve only begun to  realize and deal with emotionaly ans intellectually. As it turns out I am currently far past that imaginary end date, I am 33 going  fairly stong. In full disclosure i have ADD/ADHD and an isaue with social anxiety not to mention a former/part time addict. So, now you  know my basic background, I welcome you to my journal! I hope  someone can find within my newest  outlet for my scrolling and racing mind some insight, humor, entertainment  or otherwise time passing or redeeming quality herein.

    One note I twns ro jump around  from past to the present. I am who I am and I don’t do this journal for anybody but do sincerely hope that someone cares or enjoys my literary diarrhea expressing my personal  experience. 



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