The morning started good today. My man friend whom i see every now and again stayed over. Its nice to have company sometimes, feeling a man sleep beside me is extremely comforting. His big tough structure pulling me into his arms, close to his body where his heat fills my insides. He makes me feel safe and protected, even just for that night its nice to have that.
First thing when I arrived at work the dishwasher was leaking. So naturally we got someone to come fix it. After the engineer had left my work collegue continued to explain how a dishwasher was like life. I think he was joking but it made sense in a strange way. He said most of the time if it breaks or a fault occurs your instant reaction is it get a new one. But sometimes all you need to do is open it up, fix a few things on the inside and you can begin again ever better and fresher than before. Like humans we get broken our souls crushed to the point we feel life won’t ever get any easier, this sadness and incapability to love ones self takes over. But if we took a look inside, fixed our broken hearts, faced up to the internal and mental struggles we all have. Maybe, just maybe we will come out the other side better and stronger than we were before.
My mother always told me horrible things will happen in our lives but all they do is make us who we truely are meant to be. I believe its a choice. We can either accept defeat when it all goes wrong, mope around for the rest of our lives holding onto anger, jealousy and sadness. Or look at our struggles in the face and let go. I choose to let go. It doesn’t mean that what happened was acceptable or didn’t hurt, it did more than I can ever explain. It just means i deserve to have peace in my mind and soul. I want that in my life.