I’ve spent a week calling myself stupid, replaying the moments in my head when I drove CK to walk away. I think about how obsescently I begged him to give me another chance. To love me. To want me. But you can’t force someone to see your worth.
I am taking a hiatus from the negativity within my mind about who I am and what I’m worth. I’m not going to beg another person to see what I see. I might suck at showing others what they mean to me but I also suck and showing myself love and affection so how should they expect me to show them so much more.
CK left me. We are done and I’m tired and angry and hurt. But most of all I regret that I didn’t love myself enough not to depend on him for my happiness.