So i told my sister i would watch her kids while she went out of town on business. Totally wasnt thinking about being as sick as i am with not taking my Cymbalta for my back. I quit because 1, i have no refills. I have no refills because the dr told me to lose weight and well…im pretty fucking sure i gained and im ashamed and would rather suffer with pain and anything else then to make that call 🙁🙁so here i am feeling like im gonna pass out on top of having awful heartburn that feels like its gonna make me barf 😷😷😷. My diet was awesome until i got slammed from every direction to go and socialize.  I keep saying tomorrow, tomorrow but i find myself mindlessly eating. My sister brought over some pictures from when we were young. This may sound crazy but i have only seen a few pictures of me as a child. Pics of me as a child whos 8 or older and 1 baby picture from the hospital. I always wanted to see more. Well apparently when our grandma died my sister got a few pics ,and she brought them over so i can get copies. Which i still have to do. Anyway i looked at all the pics studying them intensively looking at myself to see if i can see any signs of the fucked up person i am to this day. I looked like a rather happy toddler. There were pictures from a bday party for me. I never knew i had a bday party..ever in my life. I looked at the cake and noticed my family spelled my name wrong on it 😒 i once got a card from my mom when i was like 13 and she spelled my name wrong. I chalked it up as a accident but after seeing my cake at like 2 or 3 years old i realize it was no mistake. So if my family couldnt even spell my name right …does that mean i have been spelling it wrong?? Who fuckin knows. 

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