Sitting in my house, surrounded by my family, I think is when I feel the loneliest. At least a lot more here often. My kids, well they are kids and think mostly of themselves, but that’s just how kids are a lot of times. Yes, my kids can be very compassionate and empathetic to others needs but well, when it comes to being a parent, your kids never really fully appreciate you until they move out, if even then. It does suck at times, but being a parent really is a thankless job. Why would I feel lonely around my spouse? Well let’s just say I’m pretty sure the cell phone gets way more attention than I ever will. Things have been rough and I definitely haven’t always been the most supportive spouse, but I’m still here. Trying. Trying to be present. Trying to engage. I just don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere with it. The online friends are more important. They listen. They understand. Apparently I don’t no matter how hard I try. I’ve gotten to the point I just don’t know what to do anymore. I love my spouse with all of my heart but is that enough? Am I enough? I sure don’t feel like it.