Everybody’s doing it so I might as well do one myself.
My name is Recrudescence, but people call me Rex. Right now I am the leader of a group. It’s not doing very well, to be honest. In fact, one can say it’s dying. I guess the glamour it once had is now leaving. I don’t know where I went wrong. Actually, that’s a lie. I know exactly what mistakes I’ve made. I’m only human.
I might not be cut out to be a leader. I can’t meet everybody’s expectations, and sometimes the tough times we have to slog through makes me want to scream. I’ve tried to keep my cool as much as I can, but lately I’ve really been letting myself go.
I always think there are certain people conspiring against me. Sometimes I think that everybody in my group is against me. I feel so fake. The responsibilities that I never had when my group was a small friendly little thing suddenly jumped me. It was a huge wake up call.
I always have to answer to the complaints of the people, and deal with the whining of others. They don’t see me as human, I’m pretty sure. I am a tool, a device made to be a convenience to their lives. And when this tool breaks, nobody will care. I will just be castes aside, and the behemoth of a group that I’ve created will always continue forward into oblivion.
I should shut down the group. It’s been causing so much suffering to people I know. It’s been causing so much suffering to people I love. But most importantly, it’s been causing so much suffering to me.
I once had friends very dear to me who used to do whatever we wanted whimsically in this group of ours. We were what you would call a close knit family. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier before. It was only 5 people, yet we had all the fun we could without a care in the world. What went wrong? Where did we fall by the wayside?
I know what happened. I was responsible. I felt my duty crashing down on me, so I abandoned them. I am a selfish creature by nature, and I paid the price. I paid the price by losing all that was dear to me. But this story will have to wait for another time. I need to keep moving.
I really did once think that we could have had a happy ending.