I’m Back

When the spring semester started in January 2016, i made my first post here.  The next day i re-read what i posted and convinced myself that I was pathetic for venting my feelings here.  I felt like i was just in search of attention.  It’s not that I don’t receive attention at home from family and friends, but i just felt like there was something missing and that I was ridiculous for coming here.  Well, now i’m back and not much has changed.  Grandma is still paying for my school, so she controls which university I attend. After that christmas break, i learned to try to spend even amounts of time with her and my mother.  That’s sure prevented a few arguments.  But here i am back at school in the same boat.  I’m not happy where i go. I am retaking a class I earned a poor grade in last fall, sure things are easier the second time around, but its still not an easy class and i still don’t understand most of what the professor is saying.  That makes me wonder if i’m going in the right direction.  I’m a biology major.  I feel like if i were to change my major, i would only be happy because the classes were easier.  I would feel like a failure. The pre-med track has always been in my plan.  Over the past year i have changed my mind and pondered over the different professional programs i might want to go into. Such as, optometry, physicians assistant, chiropractic, nurse practitioner, radiology, speech language pathology…. The list goes on and on, but i still do not feel like I am on the right track.

 

this definitley took a different turn than expected and I didnt plan to start typing about my school-related issues, but i do feel better that i got those issues somewhat off my chest.

I no longer feel pathetic/ridiculous for posting here.  this is no different than writing in a diary, except that others have the ability to read it. i’ll definitley be back lol

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