Dispite that Bella has been depresses and was angry at not to mention I let all trust for months. I have done all in my power to regain my good name and show Bella I love her alone and to a degree which I go to my therapy and I do all I can to treat he like my queen. The only issue is that we have had little to be sexual play or sensual awakenings. I love and need sex, due to my particular love map I have no issue talking about it or experimenting or even. Just giving any physical “favors” in fact, I am most disappointed I can’t even s revive her because she’s alway in a sad depressed or agitated state. I amp or actually starving for sexual interaction. I am (taking care of myself) and have not even a single day bough that I want to leave or cheat, I swear to (well myself and Well what’s the point of lying to yourself in an anonymous journal I have ant my sex life back! She says she too does too but it seems that I that Bella wants us to be intimate and frisky again to as hard having that out of her life as it was for me……. I only need to wait for her to come to me. I am having a lot of self esteem issues and private panic attacks I she loves me but am I running after our relationships ghost of I somethimes ask myself.,.,I have asked to have a discussion sev rap times yet I know she’s doing all Within her power to avoid situation where we are alone in in a place we could go “be the old and not interrupted” I’m on the edge I am at my lifes latter period and I have always just believed that we will always stay together. I don’t want to loose that, it could be the first time nap blow to my ego that lets me stop fighting all together. I am scared.
I am a of the curious type. I use my joirnal to vent rant question and well bitch. I'm a man with a serious health issue, but an even more serious taste for interesting things. I love and make music I am an artist an armature tattoo artist a street shaman and a wandering soul, I invite anyone to read my scribbling and encourage any advice or input. I also enjoy seeing others journals to see how they cope with life and all its sucker punches.