I am aggravated with the animals right now. I am not able to walk the dogs every day because I am at work so much. When I walked them today, John drove me crazy lunging and barking at every dog we saw. He makes it miserable for me to walk them Ben is good on the walks, but bad at home. He is still tearing up my stuff. I do not even want to try to estimate how much money he has cost me in eaten shoes, clothes, and other things, like glasses and headphones. I would like to give them both up, but I know I would feel so bad and guilty if I did. I would also be ashamed in front of other people when they asked me about them. I would obviously keep Sophie, we have had her 16 years, so she stays no matter what, but all the others I would like to go. I feel guilty because I am gone so much with work and because I don’t walk them during the week. So, I feel bad for being a bad dog mom, but then I also feel bad for wanting to give them away, and I know I will feel terrible once I do give them away. I cannot win.
I am thinking a lot about getting a condo. Having zero animals and a condo. That sounds really good to me right now. no outside work, so messes, poop, or puke to clean up. No dog hair every where. I feel like I am just over all of it. I’m tired of working so hard just to not live in a nasty mess. I am just over it.