Again, Not Complaining

Last night he fucked me until I passed out. Literally. We were having very rough sex and he started to  choke me from behind. At first I thought it was kinky and I went with it but. Then he wouldn’t stop, and his grip became so tight I couldn’t breath. I started to panic but he wouldn’t let me go. I passed out. I woke up twenty or so minutes later and he was still having sex with me. He had already cummed once. But he kept fucking me until he came again. I felt kind of violated, but I didn’t want to ‘overreact’ like he says I always do. When he finished he kissed me and fell asleep on top of me. He does that on purpose. He’s very tall so he’s very heavy and he falls asleep on top of me so he can make sure that I won’t leave. Not that I could leave even if I wanted to. I do get scared. I was really scared. I thought he was going to kill me. For a minute. My neck is completely fucking bruised, red, purple and in pain. I already fucking hate lying to my parents, if this doesn’t heal soon I’m going to have to cover up with a scarf or avoid them at all costs. 

Fuck. It’s like he can’t get enough, he’s always ready to go. Multiple times a day, once even 6 times a day. He’s the only man I’ve ever been with and even I know that’s a lot. My ass is completely bruised, or my legs are sore, or he just flips me over a table without so much as a ‘hey’ and starts to have sex with me. It’s not that I don’t consent, it’s just that he takes it whenever he wants , however he wants.  I know I’m ‘complaining’ about something I shouldn’t. But, sometimes I don’t think it’s alright. Once I did complain and he coldly and blatantly told me that he could call over a prostitute if he wants, he said paying for her would not be for the sex, it would be for the silence. I know not to complain anymore.

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