Turns out its a shit day for all the Family, dad got no sleep after woking night shift, mum is sick and had to take the day off, my eldest brother was meant to get his car today but the paperwork got fucked, my other brother has an assignment due tomorrow and the system crashed taking it all with him. As for me, my boyfriend of one week today decides to share all his skeletons in his closet and just happens to mention his recent ex wants to talk to him.
I’ve never thought of myself as the jealous type..but thats probably because i had never experienced it..until now. Right now as I’m typing he is on the phone to his ex. Georgie G. Yet again she’s a fucking goddess compared to me and get this they were in a long distance relationship too and are now “Best Friends”. Best friends? fuck off to the moon camel tits. This doesn’t compute in my head and now my mind is more fucked than ever. Im drinking a bottle of wine through a sippy cup. This is the only thing that can take my mind off it but even thats not working right now. I told him i have trust issues and now it seems he wants to test the limits and i think I’ve reached mine. Just this morning i was explaining to my brother how much i trust him and now I’m not so sure i do. Don’t get me wrong i love the honesty but taking it all in and in such a short period of time is a lot to ask from me.
Im experiencing anger, sadness, frustration, anxiety and most of all doubt. Please someone tell me this is normal because I’m going mad. I went three weeks without a drink and my pills and today I’m back into it. Please make it go away, i don’t like these feelings.