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Life is tough… But then you get tough enough to handle it.

It has been quite awhile since I have been able to write in here. I have been really down lately. I am 22 years old and not a clue what I want to do with my life.

When I graduated high school I went to college for 1 year for Photography. I had been doing photography on the side already but decided to go to school and learn more. Halfway through I realized I wasn’t learning anything. So after the first year I decided not to go back. I have been a photographer for the past 5 years. And love every second of it. 

Being a photographer has brought lots of opportunities for me. For instance, I have been on the road with quite a few country singers taking photos for them. A few of them check in from time to time to see how things are going. 

After getting fired from a job I loved 3 months ago I lost it. I felt like I wasn’t good enough to even have a job. I told her when she interviewed me that It would take awhile for me to learn because I have ADHD. But after 4 weeks she told me I should have learned things. I felt helpless after that. Why me.

I have been working at my boyfriends family business. They own a dry-cleaning business. I promised his Mom 4 months. At first It wasn’t bad. But after awhile I realized that this job isn’t going to work.

1. I work upstairs where its at least 150 degrees. Its like working in a Sauna! 

2. All the women that work there are mean. (Except for my boss which is my boyfriend mom. She is the only normal one.)  They are old enough to be my parents and act worst then girls my age. 

There have been days where I  have cried because I have barley been able to pay rent. Or feed myself. Sometimes the only thing that gets me by is Wedding money. (From photographing weddings) Sometimes I cry because when photo season slows down I don’t know what I am going to do…

There is a plus side to my pants pressing job though…. I have a lot of time to think about stuff. My boyfriend has been on me about going back to school. But the last thing I wanted to do was go to school and not know what I want to do. So I put some thought into it. And with a little help from my boyfriend he told me I should go be a Vet Tech. Next week I am going to give the school a call that I have heard about to set something up. I am really nervous because I have never done this before on my own. And I don’t really know what to expect.  I have applied for a few different jobs. Hoping to get them so I can work in a much better environment. And then hopefully attend college sometime next year or maybe in the fall. 

Someday I want to have a family. So I knew I needed to get my act together.

-Ellie

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