This week’s successes
This week I feel like I have had a few small successes…
1. I told T not to come see me, I realized that I may love this man with all my heart but and that’s a big BUT… even if he leaves his situation will I ever trust him? Will I ever fully be happy or will I wonder where he is at all times. I’m worth more than that… I have not contacted him and plan to ignore any attempts he makes to contact me. The fact that I made a decision and have not reached out is a small step in the right direction for me.
2. I had a really good bonding moment with my mom this weekend. It sounds stupid but we talked a lot, I was a bit vulnerable and she was surprisingly supportive. She offered insight without judgment and I actually felt heard for once. I told her about T and instead of judging she talked about an experience she had when she was younger before she met my dad. It was like she understood how I felt and felt empathy.
3. I deleted my OkCupid account and Tinder. I have decided to focus on me for a bit, that may not seem like a success but as someone who constantly needs attention it was a step in the right direction. I am not going to look for validation in others anymore. I need to focus on being happy with myself.
4. I had my appointment for my missing IUD and good news, I didn’t need surgery…They found it, not in the right place but they were able to remove it in the office without surgery.
These things may not seem like big things but they are steps, steps in the right direction for who I want to be and what I want out of life. I figure if you don’t celebrate the small things the big things may never feel close enough to your reach.
“When making changes, breathe deep and take the step…tip toe if you must but taking that first step is the bravest thing one can do”