My answer script of pretest was shown on 3rd Sept, and I pretty much fucked up in Maths. All other subject was alright, but I failed in Maths. Seriously, wtfh is wrong with my fudging brain!? And ofcourse, my mum is disappointed as hell. Appa doen’t know yet… I can totally imagine the look on his face after learning about it. Ugh… that’s what I hate the most… Disappointed looks. I feel so down and worthless everytime that look is pointed at me.
Today, I had a really bad day(not like other days are any better -_-). But today was particularly very agonizing. It is one of the days when I get mixed emotions and all remembering all the downfalls I’ve had and are having… truely, it makes me suicidal. I felt depressed resulting me in self-harming, which I somehow regret and not.
Anger is my worst habit of all. I lose sense when I get angry or mad. I find it tough to control my actions and words when I get riled up. Which pretty much cause a disaster… I hate it. I broke some things today too… and I don’t regret it -.-‘
My days are getting worse day by day. I realized I have changed a lot in these past few months… Don’t know if it’s for good or bad. But I got much more hot-tempered and sensitive, that is adding problems to my life. My behaviour has gotten worse and my patience reduced to zero. So yeah… I am worst now…