Yesterday while drinking my morning coffee, i found a booklet lying on the table that caught my attention. It was titled ‘How to harness your habits’. I had a read and found it surprisingly helpful and thought provoking. It really got me thinking about the present and my life from day to day. How strange that it fell into my lap in the way it did and got my mind ticking in the direction it has.
In the last year especially i feel i have been very focused on the past, working through my own issues and dealing with my emotions. Although i have wanted and furiously tried time and time again to focus on the present i seem to keep being pulled backwards either because my mind refuses to stop playing me negative flashbacks or because of something that happens in my environment.
I’ve decided to focus on journaling more, hopefully daily and although i love to write deep story like snippets from my life and experiences i think it’s time to be more free hand with my thoughts and focus on the now as much as i can.
In roughly 3 weeks is the anniversary to the death of my dear Uncle who i lost to cancer after a strained 8 year battle. Seeing him take his last breath and see the life leave his eyes was the beginning of the breakdown i have had from every angle in the last year. It bought every emotion i had buried to the surface and forced me to look it dead in the eye. But i guess I’m stronger now, for me to be able to talk (or write) about it without a lump rising in my throat is proof. I am strong again, although still on my journey i know where i want to be in a year. Today i don’t feel scared to look into the future.
Going back to the booklet, it had a short section titled ‘Be realistic’. It was based on the notion of working on your habits in a realistic fashion. It suggested creating 2 master lists, one with behaviours/habits that are considered positive, ones that you want to build on and a second list with negative behaviours that you want to eliminate completely or change into a positive. Before writing this post i did this activity and found myself scheduling an ‘ideal day’ to help me achieve goals i want to work towards. It has left me with a positive feeling that the future is within my grasp as long as I’m willing to put in the work.
So here’s to day 1. Let’s focus on making the present happy and the future beautiful 🙂