She said goodnight

I’m an ecologist student, I research on how to build self sustaining ecosystems for life support systems for space travel, and eventually colonization, and i study planets that may supoort ecosystems. why can’t I transcend this human body and become one with nature or the cosmos? Why do I feel like this, because today my girlfriend of almost 5 years who just finished navy bootcamp called me for the third time since she got back, we’ve been hitting a rough patch and I thought it was just all the stress of her moving around and being away, and wEd get though it. And instead I get the question why am i so important to you? Hell I didn’t know what to start off with, for starters you have stuck around my nerdy butt for 6 years, you were my bestfriend in middle and highschool, you got me through the tough times like when my mom died, or I was going to school for 14 hours a day and working 12 hour shifts at the same time because I only won enough scholarships to pay for the books, and not my out of state tuition, and I made too much money as an emt to get any grants, you would come and see me at work, have lunch with me at school, and make sure that anytime at our house was spent relaxing with you. And I answered this question only to get another. Why do you love me so much? I don’t know maybe because of all the endorphins that rush to my head because your my only human contact outside of a lab filled with guys that are exactly like me, except one was a physics student so he automatically assumes the role of god. Because everytime we were in bed oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin were released in my brain making me feel attached to you even more, I love you because I love you, because ive known noone else but you, maybe because you give life to the days that could have been spent just looking over papers so i could say i looked at them, because you forced me out of my comfort zones and expanded my horizons, you pushed me to follow my dreams and never hesitated to have my back, and was right beside me when i had to go out of town for a conference, because you’ve always been there, because you said you love me, and i can feel it in this human body everytime we touch, and everytime you say it and you went off for 3 months and we decided to take a break, and yet you still promised to come back, and you did and you said you wanted to be with me, and I said yes without any questions, and now your the one having doubts. Why don’t I have any doubts!? why am I so sure I love you, and I can say that and I pour my heart out to you, and you said I’m really tired sorry, goodnight.

Leave a Reply