I will make it through tonight. I will be ok. I will do as I always do and take care of my family do my work and go to bed. One foot in front of the other. Fake it till I make it and a million other clichés. I want to lose control of this I want to let go. I want to stop faking it but I can’t. I have to be ok for my family. I have to fake it for them. I have to keep control of this or I will let them down. Really though, I want to let go and spin out of control.