Sunday, 9/11/16, home in my office, 6:14pm

I just said goodbye to Chelsea.  My heart is broken.  I mean, I know it isn’t really.  It just feels that way right now.  Can’t stop crying. But I’m so happy for her.

Today has been kinda crazy. So many emotions. I went to the peace circle for 9/11 that tri-faith initiative held at temple isreal. It was pretty cool.  I think we should sang the peace song a few more times.  I didn’t think B would be there but as I was leaving I saw him out of the corner of my eye. Then he walked over to my car and said, “It was good that you came here today.”  I said a short “thanks.”  He said “It’s really good to see you.”  I nodded a bit and then said “bye.”

Like what the fuck does he think? Like how all of a sudden is it good that I was there?  And now, today, it’s good to see me?  It wasn’t good to see me at Sakura Bana on Wednesday?  It wasn’t good that I was there?  FUck fuck fuck! Fuck him! Ugh.

Okay so, had a fantastic time at the cabin last night and today.  Was feeling a true intimacy with that group for the first time.  Was feeling so at home and at peace and as if I were with family.  Smoked some really good weed. Had so much fun watching everyone else have fun with the costumes.  Got it on with JF in the driveway on the hood of WB’s pickup.  That was fun.  Chelsea and I both had boy stories to tell each other this afternoon.  That was my favorite.

I’m barely home anymore. This place is a mess.  I have so much laundry to do before I leave for SF tomorrow.

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