bad moods are getting worse

woosahhh isn’t cutting it anymore… I guess I try to handle everyone elses situations and take on the burdens that come with that… my load is heavy..

my landlord increased my rent by $100 effective the start of the new month October.. not much notice.. I have lived there just going on three years always paid on time if not four to five days before rent was even due.. guess I should feel lucky it could have happened a year sooner… I try to look at the “brighter side” but it seems to darken my moods to the darker side.. that brighter side keeps getting further and further away from me..

son in law again says  he starts work  this week.. think I have heard that every other week for the last year … guess he is waiting for it to ” come” to him… that’s usually the mentality of a taker.. wait  wait wait  to take take take…

im frustrated… wanted to kick the couch on my way out the door this morning… thinking to myself whats wrong with this picture.. here I am heading to work early a.m… two able bodies sleeping in my living room.. no motivation no drive no ambition..

I came home at lunch time to let my doggies out for their pee break… and son in law is pointing to a tooth that is giving him problems… and since I work for a dentist.. logically he believes he will come into the office.. and if he was helping himself .. I would be more agreeable to that but for right now.. its gonna go in one ear and out the other.. or I will tell him like he tells me about working.. im gonna get you in this week.. and then next week ill say the same thing and see if he “gets it”

my car needs work… desperately.. don’t know who to trust and definitely know its gonna cost some bucks..   yes  just rain down on me…

mood swings are typical of a person with a thyroid disorder.. I cant afford the medication so I don’t take any.. maybe that’s why my bad moods are intensified…

hitting fifty next month.. maybe the menopause thing is starting to take effect…

the period thing did happen a week and half before actually being due..so maybe this is the onset of menopause nightmares I don’t know… not getting hot flashes.. yet anyways..

I just want to take off for a week to a resort spa location and not hear from anybody or worry about anything.. but that’s a nice dream… probably the only thing im entitled to do anymore is dream…

if I had balls to pull the trigger I would.. my luck I would end up on life support  or brain damaged and still have to function  even worse than before..

fck me

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