A time you made a good choice
Interesting that this topic comes today…Today, Monday, September 12, I have decided to close the book on T forever. I had given myself this date a couple weeks ago that if he hadn’t stepped up, changed his situation and fought for me then I would forever close the book.
He has not changed anything, we haven’t spoken in over a week actually but today is the final day, it was verbalized to him a couple weeks ago as well. At midnight tonight I block his number and never look back. It’s a bittersweet moment because as much as I want this man I deserve better and I know that. Some may ask why I am waiting until Midnight. It’s not to keep the door open, it’s simply because I am a curious person and I want to know if he is going to reach out at all today (I’m not expecting him to but I don’t want to always be curious). It’s more for peace of mind for myself.
Today I am choosing to move on from a man who has made me cry more than he made me smile, I am choosing to love myself enough to know I deserve more than I was settling for. It’s not an easy choice and let me tell you I have physically felt my heart breaking the last week but in the end it’s best. I am finally choosing myself, my well being and my own needs over someone else’s. That is the first good choice I have made in a really long time.
I am choosing to no longer be a victim, I am choosing to not let the actions of one asshole change my perspective on people. I refuse to let myself get bitter, I will learn and move forward and I oddly don’t wish him any ill will….well secretly I hope his dick never gets hard again hahaha Sorry but maybe I’m a tad bitter :-/. In all seriousness though, I wish him the best, I hope no one breaks his heart the way he broke mine and I hope he is happy.
I am choosing to wake up each day with the determination not to be sad, to see the good in my life, my friends, family and blessings and that alone is a good choice.
*I may think of you softly from time to time, but I will cut off my own hand before I ever reach for yours again*