I have been searching for an online journal like this for quite some time. I found this one earlier today and debated whether or not I should pursue it again. I used to be a part of an online diary community many years ago called OpenDiary until it one day disappeared. So many memories and emotions I had invested in that diary and then it was gone. It was a big part of my life during my teenage years. I’ve missed it ever since. Then I came across this one and seriously debated if I wanted to invest my life into online journaling again. I decided I would give it a try.
Obviously a lot has changed since my teenage years. I’m a wife now and a mother, but unfortunately the struggle with depression and self-image still creeps it’s way in my life. It’s probably becoming more present recently than a couple years ago. I’m sure the culprit comes from post-partum depression that I’m trying to deal(hide) with after having my first child. I really need this to be my outlet to help me deal with everything. It has not been easy. I’m going to try to be as real and raw with my feelings as I can be. It’s funny/interesting that when I was a teenager it was much easier to express my feelings to a world of strangers then. Now that I’m older, my Facebook posts have become fewer than they used to be and now that I’ve found something similar to OpenDiary, as a 27 year old, I’m going to have to rebuild my confidence to share personal thoughts about life again. Yet, I want this. I’ve missed this. I just need some time to re-adjust.
I know I should probably put myself in therapy, but I know it will be difficult for me to express my true feelings to a physical being staring at me from across the room. Let me try this where I can hide behind my anonymity for a while. Let this be my therapy.