“I dreamt of him when I took a nap.. We were sitting on a couch and I was playing league. He tried to reach out for my hand while we sit together and I just let him do that freely. No resisting. Then when he finally got hold of my hand, he clasped his hand on mine and held it tightly. We both closed our eyes and sighed in exchange of relief..
Then I woke up… Starred at the ceiling and tears started falling. “It was just a dream” I said to myself.. I cried silently and grabbed my pillow and buried my face. I didn’t make a sound. I wanted to close my eyes again, maybe just MAYBE I can dream about him again. “Kahit dun na lang” I said again to myself.. Because I fucking knew that THAT will never happen in real life. Atleast in my dream it felt real. So real that I even felt his warm breath on my neck when he craned his chin on my shoulder. I stoped playing and I just held his hand. Leaned back to cuddle with him and rest my head on his chest.. I got a good and soft kiss on the forehead before I woke up.
An hour later after waking up, I’m still crying like a little bitch. Sux man. It sux.” – 4/18/2016