Day 1 after Breakup

So I was dumped for a pretty good reason. My ex had thoughts about whether he wanted to go back to someone from 4 years ago. Knowing he potentially wanted that instead of what we had was the most painful part and now that I look back on it, it’s pretty stupid. I pretty much got discarded/trashed over a facebook message. One facebook message. From a ghost from 4 years ago. Like man, are you serious? LOL.

It definitely taught me to ask about people’s situations with their ex’s before I even think about dating them and if there’s any confusion or feelings of them wanting to be with them within the past year to just allow them to be alone. If I had done this in the beginning, I wouldn’t actually be here. And if he had been honest in the beginning, I wouldn’t be here.

But I really can’t dwell on what could have gone down differently. I’m at a point where I need to focus on what I do have right now instead of what I don’t. Regret helps no one and can only tear you apart. There is nothing you can do because it has already been done.

I’m just writing this journal to help me cope with habits I used to have with my ex. Every morning I’d say good morning to him via text. We’d talk. It’s really tempting to try and fill that void and that’s what I’m doing, I’m doing it here. Eventually once I heal, I’ll get to a point where I don’t need to type or text something to anyone in the morning. That’s my goal, get rid of the habits and thus the memories.

The worst thing about this is that I only need time pretty much. Time will bring along new people and new memories and new habits by itself. I pretty much can’t wait until it’s october. I’m looking forward to meeting new people at comic con and enjoying myself with one of my girlfriends. If I could skip forward into the future I would. The present currently sucks because I had a routine set up, I had habits and now I have to break them and that requires rewiring myself to feel like I don’t need what I had before.

I prayed for God to give me the strength for this and I hope he will.

 

Good morning, btw.

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