2 steps forward, 10 steps back…

I’ve been busy trying to refinance our house in just my name. I have been keeping my (soon to be ex) husband updated in the loan process. I texted him on Monday that I would be closing on the house next week.

He calls and says he wants money. We had agreed that I would be using the remaining of the equity in the house for my closing costs for the refinance. Apparently he had made some phone calls and decided he would not sign any paperwork until he got money.

So this basically sent me into a huge downward spiral. I was sobbing uncontrollably – of course he wouldn’t make this easy. Of course he wants me to PAY him for what HE did TO ME. All I want to do is to be left alone and to wash my hands of this man who I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. All he did while I was on the phone with him was just beat me down and make me feel insignificant. I can’t believe I had tolerated that for 6 years of my life. Love truly can make you so blind to so many red flags.

Needless to say, I didn’t have any money left from the refinance to give him his share of the equity. So I canceled my loan (ugh… my heart), and now we’ve agreed to sell it. I’m so frustrated he hasn’t helped out at all with the mortgage. I’m so frustrated he hasn’t helped out at all with the dogs. We’ve agreed I will move out at the end of this month – and since I won’t be living in the house, I will only be paying half of the mortgage until it sells. I’ve been so broke and he’s been living in leisure at his mom’s house, just saving up money to get an apartment, but yet he still wanted money from me. 

I still don’t know if I’m going to file violence for the reason our marriage ended in the divorce. Can I even do that? Ugh. I am so overwhelmed. Now I’m moving back into my mom’s house, with just my one dog, and I have to restart from scratch. At least I won’t be alone anymore… I just hope everything works out at my mom’s house. :/

I was starting to feel happy… and here he goes again, making me feel worthless.

One thought on “2 steps forward, 10 steps back…”

  1. Hey Kayla

    How could you let someone make you down after all this. For heaven sake give time to yourself only for a while this time . you have to heal the wounds and move forward . Any suggestions if you need form i will be there .

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