Life starts off great, then turns

It’s funny I can remember my life as far bk as 2yrs old. My biology dad was a great man “rip” a artist, born with the talent that proudly has past down to me as well, and my kids. I was daddies little girl, his only bio child.  I have two older half sisters, my mother was married before.. They have same dad.. A addict,abuser which is y my mom left him. Then my dad met my mom, and they married. So my dad wanted my sisters to have his last name so he adopted them both. What man today in his early 20s does that. Not many at all.  Anyways life was great my dad named me and middle name joy cause I was the joy of his life I was told. Lol.  He also wanted my mom and to have some initials.  So time passing he worked full-time at nights and going to art school just for the degree. During the day. He was old fashioned didn’t want my mom to work but he’d let her if she wanted anyways id never go to bed at night till he’d come home lol lol mom couldn’t get me to. If he was home etc and if id cry he’d stop everything he was doing and get n my playpen lol.. He was a great artist while in college he sent drawings to Walt Disney.  They later offered him a job to draw for them. But by then he had bn diagnosed with cancer a tumor rapped around his spine n his neck, had get tormented headaches and going through harsh treatments.. Well lets bk up lol. My dad use to take me to all my doc appointments then to gift store afterwards to get a toy, which is pick police car etc lol lol well once he bought me this big soft teddy bear I carried everywhere lol.  And id follow my dad everywhere and he’d play dead lol then jump up lol so one day he was having headaches and went to bathroom to get aspirin, as always I followed. As I stood n doorway he lean over sink then collapsed to floor, I thought he was playing as he always done. My mom came running in she couldn’t wake him, I was giggling thinking he’s was playing.  My mom screams at me he’s NOT PLAYING. I was only 4 I didn’t understand what she meant, so as I stood there clinching my teddy I started to cry, the paramedics came I watched it all I stood n doorway.  Blood was coming from his mouth, eyes, ears..  I could hear the paramedics they couldn’t get a IV needle into him they kept bending and breaking, he wasn’t breathing then after trying about 10-13 times they got a needle into him and got him breathing I remember seeing all the broken or bended needles on bathroom floor.. They took him to hospital he had emergency surgery, his tumor had burst and the cancer was spreaded throughout his body, he never came out of coma he died 3 days later I never seen him again after the bathroom trauma. Now here’s when my little life became a nightmare I was so close to him tight bond we had. I had to see doc who said to my mom that my bond was so tight that it traumatized me beyond. And feared she leave to. Also fast forward I found out years later in my 20s that physic abilities ran n my moms family side. Which I’m a sensitive I know certain gas before they happen and to who and when and how it will happen. I haven’t bn wrong yet to this day…  So bk track now to age 4. When my dad died it opened me way up.. Like a bright ass beacon light shining and something came in and attached its self to me.. This is where my life becomes a nightmare and  tormented. And still to this day I go through shit lol but I’m stronger, bigger, tougher, wiser, not that little scared girl.. I’m not looking for approval from anyone or attention nor I care anyone believes me, that’s there choice. Ive got nothing to prove either.  My kids have gifts to. And their great artist lol.. My ex was little skeptical until with me and he’d see and hear shit lol he’d go look id say ignore it lol lol anyways will write more. Like when I was 6 and seen a translucent doll with no head go up my bedroom wall lol yeah I ran from room to my sister’s in living room getting ready for school lol. I will get more nto that shortly lol lol I don’t run anymore or show any fear I refuse to let it intimidate me like when I was little…

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