It has become abundantly clear. I am not getting better. There has to be some study somewhere that explains why certain people cant just watch TV, no they have to watch, obsess, and copy the characters personality for the next few days as if they forgot who they were in real life. I am on of those people. And since I find myself watching a lot of dark humored shows about women with depression who make it through the day with drugs, sex, and alcohol, I don’t think its a very good watching strategy. My theory is that people who do this are actually so depressed in there own lives, they cant help but slip into someone else’s. Even if its for a few hours. A few days ago I binge watched Bones and I couldn’t stop saying my full name followed by ” Im a forensic anthropologist” which would be fine if I had even a remote interest in the field. Either way I losing it. Im on a bad path man. Downward Spiral here I come. Ive been good for a few months but I can feel the cycle starting again. I need to get to a therapist ASAP. Till then, I’ll keep pretending that I’m only pretending to be a depressed woman who finds comfort in drugs, sex, and alcohol.