Thoughts and questions run through my mind late at night when I try to go to sleep. Lately I’ve been wondering about my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and the Lord has blessed me with one filled with love and overall happiness.
I’m 34 years old, single, and blessed to be a daughter, sister, auntie, and a friend. I wake up every day knowing that I’m loved by God and my family. I thank the Lord for His abundant blessings as I know it is solely through His loving grace.
The part of my life that I question is my career. I’m a registered nurse and work at a long term facility. I enjoy aspects of my job and can honestly proclaim that the best part of every night shift are my coworkers. They are awesome and so supportive. The nursing aspect is what I question. Do I want to be a nurse for the entirety of my career life?
I can honestly say that there are nurses who are just born to be one and they are those who find meaning and joy in what they do. They have a drive that motivates them to become better in a field that demands it. Unfortunately, I don’t feel like I’m in this club.
Why did I pursue nursing in the first place? Job security and decent pay. It’s difficult to find a job (especially a full time position) living in the Golden State especially in the southern part. Also, I believe I’m a caring person and thought that was enough to be a nurse. Turns out that caring is the cornerstone which is essential but it’s not enough.
I wonder how many people in this world can honestly admit that they love their job? Or that they are doing a job that fulfills them? Are jobs meant to be fulfilling or is that just an icing on top, sort to speak?
What I’d really love to do in life is create. I love to write, take photos, design, explore, and question. What job entails me to do all those things?
I look at my career and ask myself…. can I really do this for 30 years? The answer as of now is no. At least I know that much. I guess that’s a start.