i want to feel. 

i want to feel something other than worry and fear. want to feel something other than insecure. dont want to be worried about money, or time. dont want to be fearful of things i cannot control. i dont mean like being scared of the dark or anything like that. i mean being fearful of whats going to happen and what the future holds. being scared of other human beings and their thoughts and opinions on me. overthinking things, asking myself “wonder if that person is watching me” or thinking ” i bet theyre thinking about how ugly i am.” but then at the same time i think “wow this person is starting at me because they want me, because they think im beautiful”. its like my mind is all over the place. my thoughts are scattered all over the place. i dont know if im insecure or if im full of myself. i dont know if im nice or if im a bitch. i dont know if im happy or sad. i dont know who i am. i dont know what, i want. i guess i just want clarity.

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