I know how dead you are inside, How worthless you feel. I know how you look into a mirror and hate what you see.Im done, I’ve had enough. You wanna know what i am scared of? Im scared to move, Im scared to breath, Im scared to touch you.  You made me love you, you made me let you in and then you freaken died in my arms. It doesn’t matter what I do. It doesn’t matter what i choose all I want is wrong. If Im not hurting my self Im hurting everyone around me. Theres nothing i can do about it. I am broken. I am so alone and I owe you so much. I don’t know what to say. How do you keep going when the worst things happen. What do you change inside in order to survive? Who do you have to become? I really don’t see the reason for trying or talking or breathing. Im just done. I feel like Im never going to be happy again and every day it just gets worse and worse I hate you I miss you and I don’t want to. When everything sucked you were the only thing we had going. I want you to find someone who will give you the love you deserved from me. I want you to find someone who will always see you as I see you now. I just haven’t been the best version of my as of lately. Im just not happy right now.  Something happened to me today. I realized something about me, something about us. I am telling you that this is the realest thing that I have ever felt in my entire life. I love you.  Will this pain ever go away? It hurts so much. I try not to think about it all the time i try to distract my self. Nothing makes me feel better. sometimes I swear I can almost feel you. I don’t want this to be done because if it is I have to admit that its over and your gone forever. I can’t do this without you I cant live without you. It was the first time that I saw you. I never seen any man so perfect. I remember thinking I had to have you or I would die then you whispered that you loved me and i felt so peaceful. I should hate you. I should hate you so much. I did everything to make you happy. You are so amazing and I, I just wanted a little more time. i couldn’t sleep last night because I know it’s over between us. you know I love you. I feel I have loved you forever. I want to be the next girl that your with I want to be her so badly you have no idea.  We should have looked out for each-other even when the other one screwed up. You are my best friend. Just one more thing, one more miracle for me, just don’t be dead. 

This isn’t good bye, this is just until we find a way.

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