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The past keeps knocking…

18 and I was in love and I didn’t even know it… I was planning so far into the future I forgot what living in reality felt like but that didn’t matter because he wa right there with me… his drive was fast and he uttered the words i love you with so much emotions and never requested I said it back but the moment I knew I was in love I told him why wouldn’t I he was just everything in one!… we planned for the future and the good times ahead… at the age of 18 I fell in love by 20 I was heartbroken and lost and at 25 approaching 7 years later I still can’t let go of the past. Everything I had planned back than for me and him he now has with her and I ain’t mad because he has his happiness but I can’t process the thought that although you left almost 5 years ago he never really left because he still calls my house a home… I wish I didn’t answer I try I really try but he comes back around and I see the face of the man I still love… I try to explain it I put on my make up face and smile like our friendship really works but when he leaves and the curtains close I shut down emotionally and question why do I keep answering to the past?…

2 thoughts on “The past keeps knocking…”

  1. First, you have to understand that it’s time to move on.
    Then, cut all connection with your ex. I know is hard, but this it has to stop. It’s not good for you, and for his actual relationship.
    Even if it’s not your fault, his actual girlfriend has no idea what’s going on, but if she’ll find out, she’ll be broken. And she will give all the blame to you, because she love him. She is the only one who is to be sorry for.

  2. It’s true I’ve left before we haven’t spoke for almost a year but than he will just appear and it’s right back to square one. Believe me I’ve tried maybe this time it’s for him to erase me … @girl_online

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