Another role of the wife

Mike has a soccer tournament today! There was no way in hell I wanted to be up and ready for the 9 AM game, but I told him I’d watch the 11 and 12 games. Mom is coming to watch as well. She’s a busy woman, but I know it’s important to Mike she come support now and then. He seems to respect her company more than his own family because he never asks them if they’re coming whereas he’s constantly asking me to ask mom. He once told me when he was growing up he wished his family would have come and watched a game or two. His mom did fuck all all day so I’m not sure what her excuse was. Anyway, it gives me a new – if not delayed – appreciation for my mom and how she always came to support my games even though she worked full-time. He has more games, later today but mom has to work and I have a massage therapy appointment. I now know why I saw so few wives at each and every game and many girlfriends. When I was merely a girlfriend living with mom I had way more time. Now, I have a house to clean, dinner to cook, errands to run, exercises to do, etc. I’m going to have to make sure Mike understands this. I know he was upset I barely came to watch a game this season, but I was also planning a wedding and now that it’s over he seems to think my time is all freed up. No. He’s helpful around the house, yes, but there’s still more to do and I can’t “waste” 3 hours in the evenings watching him. I slightly broached the subject yesterday in that I told him between his team, my team and our co-ed team I simply can’t watch all of his games and I don’t expect him to watch mine. I expect him to clean the kitchen or something while I’m playing because that’s exactly what I’ll be doing while he’s playing. It’s strange how the dynamic changes and I honestly think he’d rather have a cheerleader than a clean house or home cooked meal. If it wasn’t so fucking expensive to eat out all the time (or unhealthy), I’d gladly get out my pom poms, but until then this is the way it is. I never wanted to be this type of wife and I always criticized the wives that were never around, but now I understand why. We’ll have to work on some type of routine because I don’t want to boss him around and tell him to do this or that day after day so I don’t get stuck with it all, but I know I”ll resent the fuck out of him if I watch his games and have a dirty house to get home to. It’s not just the house. I have a body to maintain. Nails to file. Eyebrows to pluck. I don’t want to turn into some blob that supports her husband at his soccer games then comes home to a clean house. There has to be a balance. I just need to figure it out.

2 thoughts on “Another role of the wife”

  1. Maybe you could mark on the calender which of his games you’ll be able to go to? It’s a silent way of documenting how many hours you’ll actually be dedicated to watching him play. I agree, it’s a hard balance.

    My own husband was in a band a while back. They practiced 3 to 4 times a week plus played 1 or 2 shows on the week end. I was rarely able to attend these events. It was the source of A LOT of resentment and fights for us. I was resentful because so much of his time was invested in his band that I was saddled up with the kids by myself for days on end. Plus he didn’t lift a finger to help with house work when he was home. He was resentful because he thought I was un-supportive of his band. If I wasn’t supportive than how is it he was actually able to spend so much time away from his family. I also thought he was using the band as an excuse to party like a teenager. In the end he gave it up. It took all 3 kids saying something to him about it.

    Also, I think it’s awesome that your mom goes to his games too. You must appreciate the company, yes? It says a lot about her character as a person.

    Hope you find some balance. I agree you’ve got to make time to work on yourself too!!!

  2. Thank you for your comment!
    I’m glad your husband gave it up. I believe we need to have hobbies even as adults, but some hobbies are just not appropriate for an adult lifestyle and I think playing in a ban is one of them. I enjoy sports because it’s very family friendly. In the future, we plan to be a sports oriented family and it’s easier to accomplish because you can bring the kids, you know? I don’t think I’d tolerate my husband in a band or even as a gym rat! I think that has got to be the stupidest way to spend your evenings if you have a family and stuff.
    Yes, the calendar is a great idea!

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