I never thought seeing my bestfriend with her boyfriend would affect me to much, maybe it’s because yesterday was my one month and my boyfriend didn’t even try to contact me. It’s hard seeing the genuine love they have for each other and then being able to express it. Even the simplest of hand holds I envy. I’m trying to put the brave face but I feel like I have just had an egg squashed over my head and been splattered with flour. I didn’t care so much for our one month but he reminded me, he unintentionally hyped it up for me and even today he hasn’t even bothered to send a simple text. I sent him a text early in the morning, for me to even express myself is a huge deal and right now i want to go back to my cave of solitude. At the back of my head I’m hoping for the best, that maybe he’s got a surprise or something has happened but I’m too realistic to think like a naive little girl, I know better. 

Goodnight Journal.

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