I didn’t go all through this just to get back to you..

     No. I’m not coming back to you.. I am not going to experience the same old thing that made me think twice. I am not going back to the same experience where I had to suffer for more than 2 (almost 3) years after the break-up; where nights are longer than days, where being alone means suffering more and a burden if you’re with other people, where being a misfit is a daily struggle, where it’s hard to be alone when you’ve been with someone for almost 7 years; it’s hard to adjust, and where you try to swallow the fact that the other person finally chose someone else over you and it made you feel unworthy, not enough (for that person), and lost. It’s real, to be honest; you get lost after a break-up because the things that you used to do together became a routine which in the end, is really hard to get out of your system. It’s hard not to think of that person. It’s hard to shake off those thoughts – they can (figuratively) eat you alive or drag you down. It’s not easy. In fact, it was really difficult. But I got through it. I stayed alive even though there were countless times that I wanted to take my life.. I got really depressed. And what’s bad is that I keep it to myself mainly because (like I’ve said in the lines from above), I am a burden when I’m around people. It’s not easy to just “forgive and forget”, you can’t forget something that scarred you for life and healing really took time on me. I didn’t date anyone after that nightmare. I was scared.

     2 years later, he came back, but I managed to push him away as soon as he tried to convince me of coming back to him. I wouldn’t dare. Not after that 2-year nightmare. No.

 

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