F R U S T R A T I O N

i have a math test in two days.

let me just give you guys a background story on my history with math. I failed High school algebra once in high school. would’ve failed it the second time but i think the teacher just passed me because she felt sorry for me. then i proceeded to take hs geometry. which i also failed. math is just not my forte. 

Now in college, im in a developmental math class. which doesnt even count for a credit. its been about 3 years since ive done any type of algebra.. ive never done it with out a calculator. BUT APPARENTLY NOW IM SUPPOSED TO LEARN TO DO ALL THIS AGAIN WITHOUT  A CALCULATOR. Im trying my best but i just dont know. I feel very confident when im doing the problems and when i look back and check my answer its wrong.. just because i might have put 3 instead of a two, or maybe because i did it in the wrong order. plus due to some tuition issues i had to start a month late. i keep telling myself to not doubt my ability to do this. its just hard for me to feel confident in myself.

anyways, i thought that by me going to school id finally make friends.. but i still have none. i mean its not like i just go out of my way to try to make friends.. im just hoping someone comes up to me and asks if i want to be their friend. but apparently it doesn’t work that way. i havent even had a conversation with anyone, not any students, not any teachers. ive just sat there. like an ugly, shy, fat piece of shit. i guess im just very lonely. i have no one to hang out with or anyone my age to talk to. i feel like im an old lady. i dont do anything people my age do. im just sad.

maybe im just getting my period.

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