Help Me Get “Us”

Look, I’m sorry you got sick. I’m sorry. I truly wish I was there to take care of you, bring you chicken rice soup (or whatever fits your appetite), hug you, comfort you, and just be there for you bruh… but I can’t physically be there for you the way you want me to. And you feel the need to blame someone and that perfect someone is me, so I don’t blame you, ok? You can’t blame your acquaintance (gosh no)… I mean she just sent you a long ass message about how strong and kind-hearted you are. But see, you already knew that. I already knew that. Anyways, don’t tell me that I’m selfish because everything that I’ve done good and bad in your eyes, I thought about you and for the reasons I thought were handled best at the moment. You want to be heard so bad… I get it. You want me to see through you. You want me to feel all the pain you’ve been through because it/they… hurt and betrayed you so bad and that’s the only way to perfectly get you, is if I feel all those pain that caused you. You’re so focused about making me realize how we’re different, how my decision-making is terrible, how selfish I am, how I didn’t send you a long ass message like your “acquaintance”, how you’re the “better half”… focused on all my flaws, all my uncertainties. But one thing you fail to realize is that you have to get me too… understand why and how I am the way I am with you. I don’t get you because you don’t get me. And honestly, I’m just venting right now. It just made me realize how we got to this point, and because of that one reason. You say you know me, yet you have no idea why I’m like this and at this point you might as well never know. Help me get us… instead of blaming me for everything. Just like you said, it takes two. 

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