I’m having trouble falling asleep. And this time, I actually know why.
My hubby and I fought.
Not knowing how to deal with that, I got away from him by going to our room, to get some alone time. after a while he eventually went to bed, and I stormed out, heading to the leaving room. After a couple a cigarettes and some texts with my best friend, something hit me.
We all cope with anger different ways. It’s not like we don’t know how to cope with it, we just find comforting dealing with it that way.
For me, it’s having alone time. For my husband, it’s fighting with the mattress while his asleep (I heard noises every time we fought and discovered that he does that when he’s angry).
And every time we seek advice, we listen to the same old quote: “Talk about it” or “Solve it in a mature way”.
Everyone seems to have the perfect solution for our issues. Everyone has some wise advice.
And now and then, we give advice to the same very people who advised us.
So why can we not follow our own advice? Why do we keep on giving such great solutions to others issues and not solve our own?
That old thing we all say: ” It’s easier said than done”. That’s when it hit me harder then a rock:
Everyone, including ourselves, reflect on our advice what we would like to be or do, although knowing we cannot achieve it.
Every advice we give to others it’s a way of dealing with that feeling of not knowing what to do if we were in their place, and let’s be honest we’ve all been there.
And that doesn’t mean that we are doing it selfishly, we give advice because we want to help, but we also give it to cope with our own issues.
Since we are only humans, and we all have flaws, we know that no matter what we do, we will eventually fail at some point on our life. And we are scared of that. We have a phobia of failing. Well, actually we are not really scared of failing, we are scared that the others around us see that. And for what? Because we fear rejection, judgment and the feeling that we are flawed. Isn’t that sad? Being afraid of failure?
We need to fail. We need to make mistakes.
How do we learn how to walk? How do we learn how to talk? By failing miserably at some point in our early childhood.
And I don’t say this because I’m not scared of failing… Hell, I shit my pants every time I make a mistake! And that’s perfectly normal.
What I’m trying to say is, that failure is our best friend. It teaches us how to do things. We all learned from our mistakes, or at least we hope we did. Sure we make the same mistake a couple of times, but that’s because we are, in some way, still learning.
So, don’t be afraid of failing, because that means that you still have something to learn. Don’t be afraid to give advice, because that means that you still know what’s the right thing to do.